~At the End of the Rainbow~

2011-11-12T03:14:00.000+08:00

okay, so it's that time of the year again, where the end is past..and where memories remain..
fine, i'm a melancholic person, and i do think bout what has been and thank the Lord for what He has done in this season of my life..
in year 3 2011, i'm truly thankful for the group that i was placed in..
Group E1 is truly, and i mean TRULY an amazing group, and to be honest, i wouldn't trade it for the world..
it is a group whereby encouragement, joy and love happen..where we are able to be who we are, be accepted for who we are, and to be encouraged to be the best that we can be..
it is a group where we not only work together as colleagues, but beyond working together, we truly care for each other's well-being and are not afraid to point out each other's weaknesses (or fats =P)..a group where friendships were forged and strengthened, thru teasing, screaming and laughing..
and it is a group where we turn to each other for advice on life, for comfort in times of distress, and for reminders that God is good and He is sovereign..

so...these are the members of E1..

Jess

the only one in our group who is considered pint-sized..

always jovial, always the baby of the group =)

brings sunshine into our lives with her ever-optimistic approach and very funny responses (sorry jess, but u know it's true =D)

and she calls me in the morning when i'm late for class..which gives me motivation to crawl out of bed and attend class..

overall a really really good friend =)

Tim

the only person in the group whom i can scream at (and who screams at me)..and then we ignore each other for a while..then we pretend like nothing happened and play together ~~like small kids~~ again =)

one of the two reasons why i'm not bloated like a beer barrel at the moment..

the annoying voice outside my head that keeps reminding me that i have flabby underarms and keeps proving that..

but then we have our moments amidst all the screaming and trying to claw each other's eyes out, when we sit down for a cuppa and just catch up.. =)

Mitch

honestly, one of the funniest guys i've ever met..

with his chinaman antics and sometimes really facepalm moments, and offhand comments, he really brings aLOT of laughter and joy..

and the second reason why i'm not a beer barrel..

together with tim, seriously, they keep me in shape.. =( [p/s: round is a shape too!!]

but with all the "boss you should lose weight" comments, still surprised me with a bar of chocolate and a pack of bahulu (exam survival kit =D)

Jinern

says he feels guilty and i'm not fat but NEVER STANDS UP FOR ME when tim and mitch are on a roll..

disses perlis at any chance he gets..because of him i think everybody knows that perlis has no mcd.. =(

other than that ~~(and his oft-disappearances to the little boys' room)~~, he's always in front of me during exams, and that in itself gives me a sense of security.. =)

and the one i run to after mcr ~~(or anything)~~ goes bad =)

~~in return..all i have to do is look at his teeth after a meal and hear lots bout his bowel stories..~~

so yes, these are the people i spent almost every weekday with for the past 2 semesters..and if it were not for them, year 3 wouldn't be the same..and i wouldn't have loved every minute of it..

thanks guys..for being who you are, and for accepting me for who i am ~~(even thru all my emo, stressed-out, bossy moments)~~

loves! =)

normal everyday selves...

when we're all dolled up =)

p/s: we're a darn good-looking group! =P

2011-11-06T00:23:00.001+08:00

i can't wait for the day i finally meet you =)

2011-08-25T19:55:00.000+08:00

yes, you amaze me by smiling and laughing even on your crummiest day..

so thank you, for showing me that side of you, for admitting that your day is crummy, and for showing me the weaker side of you even when you smile and laugh in front of others..

much love <3

2011-08-21T22:49:00.002+08:00

i sometimes wish you'd remember that i have feelings too..

wishful thinking..

2011-07-31T21:48:00.002+08:00

sometimes i wish you were mine..

then i'd wake up..

2011-07-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

how does it feel like when you see the one you love walk away and all you had left were memories?

down in the dumps..

2011-05-29T19:36:00.000+08:00

in an ideal world, i wouldn't be going through what i'm going through now..

in the real world, i'm going thru all that i'm going thru now..

in an ideal world, evth would be perfect..

in the real world, nothing ever is..

in an ideal world, u'd still be here..

in the real world, u're gone..

gah!

2011-05-12T14:43:00.000+08:00

hate it when i have to have one of those "talks" with a guy..
hate confrontations of those sorts..
hate it even more when it's awkward..
and hate it cuz i have no idea what to say..

i just wanna run away...~

2011-04-25T23:34:00.002+08:00

...u said u'd b there always...

...and then i turn around and all i see is....

...empty space...

2011-04-11T23:33:00.001+08:00

...i wish u'd see me not only when u need me...

2011-04-05T14:45:00.000+08:00

..i'm still in love with who i wish u were..

your smile..

2011-04-02T12:08:00.000+08:00

...your smile...

lights up the room

brightens up a gloomy day

with nice teeth and perpetual chewing gum

and a tiny dimple on the right that most people miss

...your smile...

makes me smile

makes me happy when i look up and you're smiling down at me

i wish you'd smile more

wish u'd grace the world with your smiles

and wish ur smile was always genuine

i love your smile

fruits..

2011-03-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

i've been embarassingly MIA from blogging for the past few weeks..
it's been pretty hectic lately..and yea, blogging has been pretty far from my mind.. =)
quite a few changes have been taking place, for things that i've been praying bout..n it's really really encouraging to see prayers getting answered, even though sometimes it takes effort to not give up..
both are regarding relationships..

one is my lecturer, who was pretty horrid to us when we first started..i really really didn't like him at all..n ev word he said just didn't register in my mind..bout 4 or 5 weeks into Year 3, i realised that as much as i didn't like him, i'd have to be stuck with him for the next few months, so might as well make the best of it..so i prayed for grace and for help to be respectful..and guess what??within a week, he had a 180 degree change, and now, he's mellow, he teaches well (or i'm just receptive to his teaching?), encouraging and yea, he's the tutor that saw me for who i could be instead of who i am right now =)

the other one is a fren who've i've known for the past 2 years..we've never really gotten along..n yes, i've been praying bout it..and i'm glad to say, there's been changes in the past 2 weeks..which is much more than i could have hoped for..

i realised that most times, it takes persistence on my part, to continue respecting, loving, caring, even when it's a one-sided thing..not to expect anything in return, but in the meantime, to continue to wait in the hope that someday, what i've been praying for all along will finally come to pass, in God's time =)

the human in HIV

2011-03-07T22:32:00.002+08:00

Last week, I had the chance to clark a HIV+ patient in the wards..

I had to admit, part of the reason I approached him to obtain history was curiosity, because I’d never seen a HIV patient in hospital..so..i went..at first, he was quite visibly apprehensive wen I spoke to him..he wouldn’t look me in the eye, and answered my questions without much enthusiasm, just the bare necessities..on one hand, he wouldn’t admit that he was HIV+, although I kinda already knew, I still wanted to hear from the figurative horse’s mouth..

To be honest, a thousand questions were running through my head while I was interviewing, none of which I was comfortable enough to ask..how did u end up here?do u have people who love u despite how u’ve ended up?what about people whom you love?have u given up on them?have they given up on u?what is running through ur mind while ur here talking to me?is there anything I can do?

I think he could sense my discomfort n loss for words…I tried to b as normal as I possibly could,but I guess, I’m stil not entirely my usual self around patients..well, I finished up the interview and thanked him n told him that I’d take a look at his case notes..while I was looking through his file, he suddenly said, “Study hard, study well, who knows, someday u’ll be the one who’ll find a cure for HIV..” I smiled and replied, “I’ll try..” all the while, in my mind, judgmental me was thinking, if there was a cure for HIV, then what would deter people from IV drug use n free sex? I really didn’t like the fact that I was thinking that way, but, I couldn’t help myself……. =(

Today when I went to wards, I didn’t see him, n I tot that he had been discharged..but, just before I left, I realized that he was back in his bed, so I went over to talk to him..i smiled n said hi..his face lit up when he recognized me..n at that moment, my heart warmed over, glad that I had taken a moment out just to say hi..i asked about his day, how he had been and if he had had dinner..n he excitedly told me that he just got back from a walk around the ward, n that feeling had returned to his leg..while we talked n laughed, it was really just another normal conversation..just b4 I left to go home (it was 7.30pm), he said, “eh, so early already wanna go home?” n laughed..i laughed, realization hitting me that he was just another human being reaching out, for human contact, laughter, acceptance, love..

And in that moment, I saw the purpose of finding a cure for HIV, a cure for my judgmental thinking -----second chances…..everybody deserves that, no matter who, no matter what.. =)

the bigger picture.. =)

2011-03-02T23:43:00.001+08:00

these past few days haven't been easy, there've been quite a few things that i've experienced, in the wards, that threw me off guard, and rattled me quite badly..
there've been days when i really wished i had someone special who'd hold me n keep the dark clouds away, someone who'd tel me how to react to all these new things i've seen n felt..

but.............
today, after much struggling n complaining to God, He quietly dropped a thought into my heart..
n suddenly evth became so much clearer..
n i'm thankful that in this season, i'm single..
cuz this is when i start clinical years, seeing patients n feeling emotions that at times, i'm not too sure they're healthy..lol..
all in all, it's a time for me to find my identity as a dr-to-be..
to explore and experience everything i possibly can, to discover what kind of dr i wanna be someday, as an individual, n not part of a couple..
most important, to find all i need in Him, my comfort, my refuge and my all in all.. =)

struggles...and grace..

2011-02-25T16:22:00.000+08:00

yesterday....was a pretty rough day...
actually, it has been a pretty rough week..but yesterday was probably the climax..
conflict after conflict after conflict...i never had so many conflicts to face in a single day.. ><
not to mention assignments to keep up with...
by the end of the day, at 2am, i was physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted..
frustrated, crushed, tired, weary......u get the picture.. =P
just wanted to do what i do best wen i'm faced with struggles - shut down, shut in...
having conflicts with the people closest to me was the hardest thing i had to face..not knowing the outcome, and yet stubbornly refusing to back down..

but........
i thank God for grace...for reminding me time n time again that He is my refuge and my strength in times of distress...

i thank Him for wisdom..for teaching me that people r entitled to run their lives the way they want to, even when i might not necessarily agree to their point of view, to each his own..

i thank Him for guidance..for really making me see that when i'm wrong, i should never to be too egoistical to take the first step in asking for forgiveness..

i thank Him for forgiveness...for forgiving me although i did wrong, and for the forgiveness i received from the people i've wronged..

i thank Him for love..for putting people in my life who encourage me n keep me in check while providing godly advice and counsel..for people who r there to listen, to lift me up when i'm down, to love me although i'm far from perfect..

*although not everything is settled as of now, i'm praying that with His never-ending patience and guidance, everything will be okay soon..*

Psalms 4:1 - Answer me when I call to you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.

who says prayers aren't answered? =)

silver linings.. =)

2011-02-23T22:20:00.000+08:00

so i lost my phone..my beloved beloved phone..
i was devastated..really i was..i loved it..it was so pretty..n it had all my fave songs..
it was a pretty horrible 18hrs after i realised i lost my phone..i mean..i defs didn't feel ecstatic that i lost it..duhh..
but ah well..God certainly has interesting ways of showing me the silver linings of the dark clouds that occasionally cloud my sun.. =)

a fren was nice enough to skype with me for 5hrs after i announced that i lost my phone..made me laugh even though i started off the conversation with crying..annoyed me for 5 hrs while making me laugh nonstop.. =)

hugs n comfort from my roomie =) oh..and a temporary phone too...

the comfort of whittakers...sigh...i officially make that brand of chocolate my ambassador..does it work that way??lol

the many many meddies that took time out to help me search their cars, clinical school and borrowed me their phones to make countless calls to countless people to try to locate my phone..not to mention so many of them who tried calling n calling my phone just to make sure that it wasn't off.. =) i'm really blessed to be able to belong to a community that cares.. =)

my parents who were really cool bout the whole 'i lost my phone' issue..no scoldings..no naggings.. =) WOW..

my cousin who came all the way in torrential rain to send me a replacement phone..nokia 6300.. =)

my sis..who was the 1st person i told that i lost my phone..who calmed me down n told me that a problem which can be solved with money is not a problem at all.. =D

J, who was nice enough to sacrifice his study time so he could drive me to the maxis center n settle my sim card and get back my number.. =)

n......whittakers in the mail.. =D

three words.....blessing in disguise..thank God for love =)

week 1 in the wards...

2011-02-18T14:16:00.001+08:00

it's been 5 days since my 1st visit to the wards of Hospital Sultanah Aminah (HSA)..
i wouldn't say that it's been a life-changing week...but, it has really been an eye-opening one..
stepping into the wards, i realise that, as much as i pretend that i know what i'm doing, i really have no idea what to do...guess that's where acting skills come in..haha..
it hasn't been easy transitioning from holiday mode to wake-up early, sleep late mode..even more so the transition from pre-clinical, all-i-see-are-my-books mode to clinical, hands-on mode..
all the walking, and standing hasn't been easy on my body which is definitely in dire need of exercise..
n yes, i've come back to nescafe..
to be honest, clinical school is really really different from pre-clinicals...
not only because now i'm meeting real patients, also cuz now, i get a taste of what it's like to be a doctor..
as much as i'm shy (believe it or not =D), i really love the patient contact..just talking to them, seeing their faces light up when i talk to them..and really listening to them go on n on about their lives..
this week, i really learnt to count my blessings, that i have it really good..that i'm blessed enough to be where i am right now...blessed that i'm in a position to learn so that one day, someday soon, i may be able to bless the lives of people around me..and blessed to realise that, i need not wait for the day i become a houseman to bless people, i can do that right here, right now.. =)

changes....

2011-02-09T17:25:00.000+08:00

started year 3 two days ago..some changes have already happened =)

i'm no longer in sunway...now based in Johor Bahru...the other end of the peninsula...haha..
i'm no longer doing pre-clinicals...now i'm doin clinicals..going into the hosp...and seeing real patients.. =)
i'm no longer staying in the not-so-awesome sunway condo...i'm now staying in the penthouse! =) penthouse attic to be exact.. =D
i'm no longer in group H...i'm now in group E, along with jin ern, tim, mitch, rudra (who r also in my subgroup), dawei, jess, ashvin, syukriah and dinushka..
i'm no longer roomies with rach (i really really miss u girl...)..i'm now roomies with nic... =)

beautiful things this CNY season.. =)

2011-02-03T12:43:00.000+08:00

angpows! =P
family time! seeing the kids running around...laughing...kissing..hugging...that's life =)
friends..those that i left behind in kangar..and those that i'll be meeting in jb...love and hope =)
good food...
safe travels...
Alvin being able to go home to segamat.. =) flood waters receded just in time for him to go home and spend CNY with his family =)

3 beautiful things (30/1/2010)

2011-01-30T21:57:00.000+08:00

1. last day of church in perlis b4 i go off to jb..hugs from the aunties..prayers from the youth...well wishes from the uncles =)
2. spending time with Chris, Naresh, Alvin and Daniel in secret recipe..catching up...chatting... =)
3. making milkshake in Chris' house with her n naresh..awesomest oreo milkshake ever =D
4. kite-watching with naresh...super duper pretty kite! =)
5. spending time with jocelyn, te may and the pepper bottle..

i love life!! and today was a fairytale =)

just smth i read =)

2011-01-24T14:18:00.000+08:00

Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets..

Love the people who treat you right..

Forget those who don't..

If a chance comes along, take it..

If it changes your life, let it...

p/s: i don't really agree to the 3rd line...i think we should still love ppl who don't treat us right...after all, that's whats love is all about..

why?

2011-01-24T11:13:00.001+08:00

can guys n girls just b good friends without emotions getting in the way??
if we can't, why?
if we can, how?

thoughts..

2011-01-16T23:53:00.001+08:00

if u cared about me enough,

would u do it?

my perlis =)

2011-01-09T23:29:00.000+08:00

have to admit..the perlis that i left definitely wasn't the one i came home to..
in just a very short span of about 1 year, the youth ministry has grown from a nearly-dying one to a vibrant, lively, close-knit one..
so wen i came back for 'summer break', i got to kno them a bit better..n got to b honest, they're a pretty awesome bunch to hang out with..so yea..here r a few ppl i had the privilege to know a bit better over these past 1 1/2 months..n who make my life back home that much more interesting..

Chris

totally awesome girl..obviously not someone i recently met..haha..knew her since she was in diapers..had the privilege of working with her for the x'mas celebration..n as usual, she had no qualms of putting me in situations that tested my limited acting abilities to the max..really sweet person..genuine..n the one who always breaks the ice n hav us in fits of laughter over her antics.. =)

Naresh

currently one of the youth leaders in church..my sparring partner..driver..hahaha..pretty awesome dude..i hope he never reads this or else his head wil swell even larger than it already is..haha..

Addison (skinny one)

drummer boi..my semi-twin (he's one day older than me..)..unimap student n drummer extraordinaire..music lover..kind of a chinaman..haha...but otherwise totally totally awesome..genuine, sociable..n somehow totally in love with my nieces..he can't stop gushing about them.. =)

Mel (not so skinny one)

long time fren, a total God-sent this christmas..brought much laughter n funny moments during our drama practices =) i'm super glad u were around n so willing to serve mel =) miss working alongside u..

Suyen
also another one i grew up with.. =) funny, lively and willing to serve..a total joy to work with =)

Beeying
our 'dai ga che'..very very willing to serve..super super nice person..caring..loving..and always go the extra mile to bless someone =)

Alvin
super super nice guy..talkative, humorous, life of the party..like a lil bro to me..wil defs miss him tons wen i go back to study n he leaves kangar after finishing matrik..

Daniel
super serious, holy, good boy.. =) stable..will make someone a good husband next time.. =D quiet..n a balance to alvin's hyper-ness..

n some new people i've met in the past few weeks.. =)

Ben (black shirt) and Joseph (white)
ben - met him less than a week ago..kind of quiet, but humorous guy..very very good paper cutter!! =) flexible, n very willing to serve..oh..n a super good face reader..n good bluffer..always wins at Bluff..haih..
joseph - also met him a few day ago..big, bit intimidating..even bigger eater..lol..but overall, funny, good arguer too! oh n two days younger than me..haha..serious in his walk with God and very willing to serve..

Karmen
sort of like a cantonese-speaking chris..haha..humourous..talkative..n aspiring matchmaker..hahaha..rose among the thorns..n yea..often the one being matched =) good singer..awesome pianist..serious about God =)

Winny
super sweet, super nice big sis..alwiz compliments me til i also feel shy..hahaha...willing to put in extra effort n go the extra mile for people =)

well..it's been a very blessed holiday..something that i totally did not expect..but was blessed enough that God brought these people into my life to brighten up my holidays =) for that i'm truly thankful..

owl city - in christ alone

2011-01-07T15:18:00.001+08:00

In Christ alone, my hope is found 

He is my light, my strength, my song 

This cornerstone, this solid ground 

Firm through the fiercest drought and storm 

What heights of love, what depths of peace 

When fears are stilled, when strivings cease 

My comforter, my all-in-all 

Here in the love of Christ I stand

There in the ground His body lay 

Light of the world by darkness slain 

Then bursting forth in glorious day 

Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory 

Sin's curse has lost its grip on me

 For I am His and He is mine 

Bought with the precious blood of Christ

No guilt in life, no fear in death

 This is the power of Christ in me 

From life's first cry to final breath 
Jesus commands my destiny 

No power of hell, no scheme of man 

Can ever pluck me from His hand

 Till He returns or calls me home 

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Till He returns or calls me home 

Here in the power of Christ I'll stand

Owl City - In Christ Alone

friends..

2010-12-26T23:54:00.000+08:00

nic: thanks for giving me perspective when i most need it =)
sam: thanks for always bearing with me..even when i'm a royal pain in the rear end..
kahwai: thanks for always knowing how to make me smile n laugh =D
lyn: i miss u already... =(

movies i wanna watch 2011 =D

2010-12-22T12:27:00.000+08:00

country strong
adjustment bureau (matt damon + emily blunt?? awesome pawsum movie i HOPE!!! =D)
your highness (seems interesting =D)
colombiana
abduction =)
haywire..

getting lesser n lesser ev yr.. =(

looking back...

2010-12-22T12:15:00.000+08:00

well.. on january 2nd this year, i posted up a list of movies i wanted to watch this year..
here's the list (those crossed are those i watched =D)

~~Tooth Fairy (starring Dwayne Johnson)~~ [entertaining, funny..n love dwayne johnson's teeth =D]
~~Dear John (starring the hunky Channing Tatum!!!)~~ [super disappointing movie, really]
~~Shutter Island (starring Leonardo DiCaprio)~~ [awesome AWESOME movie, one of the best ever]
~~Alice in Wonderland (starring Johnny Depp..therefore, it's a must-watch!!)~~ [niceeee....n quirky..like all of Tim Burton's movies, really..]
~~Iron Man 2 (need i say more?)~~ [was an okay movie-lah..]
Robin Hood (starring Russell Crowe)
~~Rapunzel (starring Mandy Moore)~~ [LOVED it..fave Disney princess story EVER...love zach levi! =D]
and maybe.....~~Salt (starring Angelina Jolie)~~

pretty good track record huh =D

to each his own..

2010-12-22T12:03:00.002+08:00

if i ever was asked to name one of the most important things i learnt this year, i'd say, without a doubt, that it was these 4 important words: To Each His Own..

according to dictionary.com, to each his own means 'one has a right to one's personal preferences'..well, this year i learnt that people come in different packages, preferences and tastes..quirks, weird personalities etc etc etc..it's easy to judge other people based on how differently they view or do things..and of course, there're certain things that really put me off..e.g too much info on fb..i mean, seriously, i don't care bout what u look like after u bathe or what r the 10mundane things u did today, or where u r at every moment of the day..but hey, if that's ur cuppa tea, or, in nicole's words,"whatever rocks your boat", then yea..post whatever u wanna post n i'll just pretend that i don't see it when it pops up on my wall..

that's just one in a pretty long list of stuffs that just rub me the wrong way..n i mean, those r pretty minor stuff..when it comes to bigger stuff, like convictions and beliefs, sometimes it's kinda tempting to wanna make ppl view the world the way i do, or judge them based on how they live their lives..whenever someone has different views on a certain subject that i feel strongly about, the debater in me always rears its head, ready for a sparring session..butttt.....now, i try my bestest to put my views across, but still, at the end of the day, concede that everyone is entitled to however they wanna view the world..so, 'to each his own'..

i guess in some things i think bout the world differently than others too..n i wouldn't want someone to impose their views n beliefs in me..after all, they're so not living my life, are they? =) so, yea, do unto others what u wan others to do unto u..so as far as i'm concerned, to each is own..after all, that's what makes all of us special =)

now that i'm a third year medical student.....

2010-12-17T13:02:00.000+08:00

well...first thing i did this morning when i woke up: turned on the comp..off to brush my teeth n sat down at the comp..
opened google chrome, typed in my.monash.edu.au..waited with trepidation while the page loaded..logged in and clicked WES..logged in there n clicked unofficial academic results...
held me breath the whole time the page was loading....................................................
n voila! PGO (pass grade only)!!<--it's either fail or PGO..
i calmly (albeit a bit drowsily) announced..'i passed..'
my mom rushed into the comp room, peered at the comp screen n SQUEALed,'PRAISE THE LORD'..and dropped a peck on my forehead (that's really rare =D) then she announced to my dad,"ah jia pass dy.."
dad rushed in, peered at the comp screen, said,"praise the Lord' with a HUGE smile on his face..and dropped a peck on my forehead (which is really rare too) then he announced to my mom, "ah jia pass dy.."
i realised....that my parents react in the EXACT same way when i pass my exams..hahahaha...

so now that i'm assured that i'll b going on to johor.....i'm pretty psyched..not that happy that clinical school is in johor, which means tons n TONS of loong travels from the north end of malaysia to the south end n vice versa..
but yeah! next yr i'll b doing rounds in the wards..acting smart..haha..

looking back..this year has been eventful..a year where i've really grown..in many aspects..n defs a year that i grew up a bit more.. =) n i'm sure next year will be even better...cuz the best is yet to come! =)

wind beneath my wings..

2010-11-24T17:09:00.000+08:00

this is a post dedicated specially to people who've helped me through this crazy year..thanks so much for being there for me, loving me and bearing with me even when i kno you totally feel like digging my eyes out (~~esp rachel...~~)..

the clan..who stood behind me when i cry, yell, fall sick or wanna give up..

my besties..since like FOREVER..the people whom i talk to bout anything and everything..oh..and who show me that long distance ~~relationships~~ friendships are possible, as long we it's with the right people..

the girls..the people in medicine who totally keep me sane..nic, xinyi, jess and carol..nic - my twin from another mother (and race)..xinyi - my unofficial dai-ga-che, with her "no..its like this this this this..."..jess - cutest ever, has to tiptoes to hug me..which always makes me feel like a giant..haha..carol - food lover..and dr arul wannabe..seriously.. =D

rachel -- awesome roommate, friend and dare i say it?? almost sister.. =D we fight, get on each other's nerves, lock each other out of the room, off the bathroom lights when the other is bathing...share almost evth with each other =) guess that's what close contact does to people..haha..

CG..people who never fail to make me smile or roll over in stitches..siewmin -- pint-sized, awesome cell leader with her quick smiles and totally awesome shoes... =D chinway -- intern who always calls me antisocial..haihz...meiyen -- another dai-ga-che who's dying to be a mom and therefore uses me, rach n david as practice..david -- who used to get on my nerves with every word he utters but now is totally sweet and loving.. =) calvin - king of lame..karaoke king..haha..joan -- korean popstar wannabe n rach's bestie..raymond -- dai gor, utter gentleman.. =) and jaysern -- our lil bro..who's IN THE PROCESS of becoming a gentleman.. =D

kah wai, my 'girl friend'...totally totally awesome guy who dishes advice on everything from relationships to fashion, food and celebrities..AND he's NOT gay!! =D the bestest guy friend a girl could ever ask for.. =)

sam, also another dai gor..who complains whenever i ask him to do anything for me but does it anyway.. =D also another guy in kah wai's league, though he's the more serious type..

jin ern -- awesome pawsum guy who is probably the person who's seen me cry the most times in the past 2 yrs..somehow he always ends up being there when i'm crying/bout to cry..but since he's such an awesome lame joke teller, it is probably a good thing =) all in all, he's a person who knows how to make people feel better, even when we're down in the dumps =)

this is by no means a comprehensive list..i'm hungry...and its teatime..go figure =D

looking back at this year...

2010-11-23T16:25:00.002+08:00

this year ain't over yet, but my second year in medicine is..it has been one hell of a loooonnnnngggg year, with many many MANY ups and downs, big n small, but important nonetheless...

studies-wise, this year has been a great challenge...there've been assignments upon assignments, and body parts upon body parts, stressors upon stressors...phew, the first breath of freedom was PHENOMENAL..haha..what i've learnt from this year is mostly intertwined with my studies, whether emotionally, physically, or spiritually...

1. sometimes my best just ain't good enough..this year was the first time that i learnt this very important lesson, of giving my best, n yet not hitting the mark..it was a very difficult pill to swallow, cuz it debunks the belief that i held for so long -- if i give my best, i'll always make it...now i learnt a different lesson --- it's not so much about the results, it's about living with no regrets..if i give my best, i can walk away knowing that that was the best i could give, no matter what the outcome is.. =) oh, and when i give my best, thats when i know that whatever it is, it's by the grace of God..really learnt the meaning behind the saying "do your best, and God will do the rest"..

2. friends are IMPORTANT!!..yes, this year has been crazy stressful..i've probably been emo half the time, stressed out the other half, and cried more than i've cried in high school..(crying is my stress reliever..LOL) n i'm infinitely thankful for the friends that pulled me through..i'm truly blessed not only to have awesome friends in med school, but also from CG, and not forgetting my besties!! =) i'm gonna painstakingly list each and ev1 of them that helped me through this year..in another blog post.. =D but really, if i had to go through this year again, if i hav all of them, i'd do it in a heartbeat..they helped me through evth this year..n without them, i wouldnt have gone through ~~hell~~ this year, and come out knowing that there're ppl who believe in me and love me..

3. family are the people who catch us when we fall, kiss our scraped knee, and push us back up on our feet to continue to FIGHT!! yea, well, they can be sorta, kinda, maybe irritating sometimes, but....my parents were the people who, believe it or not, took off all the stress when i was sitting for my finals..thanks to uncle ke kian's words of wisdom, they kept reminding me that, "No one can know everything, or remember evth, or finish studying evth, so just do what u can lah..dun worry, won't fail one..we believe in you..now all u need to do is believe in yourself.." =D n the kids' 'i love yous', hugs, and kisses really really helped me smile no matter how down i was..not to mention sis' TLC whenever i'm sick =)

4. God's grace is ALWAYS more than enough..even when i thought i didn't need it, even when i thought i could handle it, looking back, i can really see His grace weaving through every area of my life to get me to where i am now..

5. monash is AWESOME...gotta admit that.. =D but still, i think it's the people that make it THIS awesome.. =)

goodbye darling..

2010-11-13T16:13:00.002+08:00

i said goodbye..

n i'm happy..

cuz it was a proper goodbye..

i might never see you ever again in my life..

but doesn't matter..

i said all that i needed to say..

n that's enough..

take care..

in rachel's words.. =)

2010-10-30T15:12:00.000+08:00

if my heart was a compass, you'd be north...

if my heart was a house, you'd be home..

i wish i was there..

2010-10-23T00:20:00.001+08:00

i didn't get to say goodbye..

it's funny how..

2010-10-19T19:28:00.000+08:00

it's funny how some songs just drop into my life just when i need it the most..
it's been a stressful few weeks, so much so that i feel like i'm breaking down, and ev morning i pray for the strength to pull through the day..
yes, it's the studies, and yes, it's the finals..
and yes, i want to do well..
at the same time, it's just so stressful, and at times i wish that i had a special someone whom i can turn to, cry with, study with..but..i guess it's not the time yet..
nevertheless, God has been good in reminding me that He is always here for me..
sometimes i forget, and sometimes i feel so frustrated, and on the verge of crying..
in those times, it's funny how He speaks to me, reassuring me and reminding me of who i should look to in my times of need..

this is a song by Whitney houston - i look to you.. i was watching glee and stumbled across this song..although i think it wasn't intentionally meant as a spiritual song, that's how i take it..

As I lay me down

Heaven hear me now

I’m lost without a cause

After giving it my all

Winter storms have come

And darkened my sun

After all that I’ve been through

Who on earth can I turn to?

I look to you,

I look to you

After all my strength is gone

In you I can be strong

I look to you,

I look to you

And when melodies are gone In you I hear a song

I look to you

Have to lose my breath

There's no fighting left

Sinking to rise no more

Searching for that open door

And every road that I've taken

Led to my regret

And I don't know if I'm go'n make it

Nothing to do but lift my head

I look to you,

I look to you

After all my strength is gone

In you I can be strong

I look to you,

I look to you

And when melodies are gone In you I hear a song

I look to you

My leaves are broken

My walls are coming down on me

My rain is falling

Defeat is calling

I need you to set me free

Take me far away from the battle

I need you

Shine on me!

it's hard sometimes, but yes, that's who i should look to..and that's who i want to see.. =)

L.O.V.E. redefined..

2010-09-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

recently been having some conversations with God, and He showed me this revelation a couple of days ago..at that time i was going through some issues, issues that i thought i've dealt with but yet come back and haunt me, and sometimes make me cave in and do things that i really don't wanna do..i end up mad at myself, feel guilty and worthless..i guess that's how sin makes you feel huh.. =(

anyway, i was asking God, over and over again, "Do You still love me?after all that i've done?after everything that's happened? after all the times i failed??"
and He, in all His grace, reminded me of 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8a

Love suffers long and is kind

Love does not envy

Love does not parade itself

Is not puffed up

Does not behave rudely

Does not seek its own

Is not provokes

Thinks no evil

Does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth

Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things

Love never fails

What struck me most was last 3 words, LOVE NEVER FAILS..i know that God is love, and come hell or high water, that's His nature, and God does not go against Himself..never - infinite amount of time, no matter what happens, never means NEVER..it's the word 'fails' that intrigues me the most..

i always thought of failing, or failure as being unsuccessful..and no, that isn't wrong..it's in the dictionary..LOL..so what does it mean? love never is unsuccessful? does it mean that love is always successful?what does THAT mean? (i duno) the revelation that i received from this Word was that 'fails' here does not mean 'being unsuccessful', it simply means 'give up'..in other words, it means LOVE NEVER GIVES UP..and that translates to GOD NEVER GIVES UP..

WOW! it hit me hard when i finally understood the magnitude of the revelation and the impact it has on me..no matter what, He will never give up on me..and that gives me the courage to stand up to my circumstances and conquer obstacles that are sure to come my way because the Bible promises victory over every situation and i know and i know that i have God who NEVER GIVES UP on me..

to whoever is reading this and going through a rough patch, remember this, God will never ever ever give up on you either =)

why today was a fairytale (12 sept 2010)

2010-09-12T18:21:00.000+08:00

1. cuz i just came back from malacca trip with my cg mates..awesome awesome time of fellowship.. =)

2. drove CW's car...hahahha...it's awesome considering that he's a guy who really doesnt trust girls with his car..

3. a private n really special rare moment with my boy joel.. =)

4. my fave dish =D

5. listening to a really awesome sermon by Keith on developing self control..have much to learn in that area..

6. a feeling of pure joy n awe washing over me during praise and worship, singing bout the goodness of God and how His mercies endure forever..

7. sleeping.. =D

8. a special msg from a fren.. =)

restoration..inspired by ps. kevin loo..

2010-09-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

restoration...long word..bigger than BIG meaning..
wen i think restoration, i think historical buildings and the malaysian govt's attempt to restore it back to its formal glory and failing miserably while spending big bucks...
never really thought that as humans we need restoration too..
but today, ps kevin's msg was really really good...really touching..
i think as humans, we want to be strong, want to APPEAR strong, so we just take the blows that are dealt stoically, and yet inside, we hurt like crazy...
i kno i'm like that, sometimes so afraid to let ppl see that i hurt, that i'm broken on the inside..
recently, i've really been struggling, like, there've been issues that have risen, issues that i want to talk about with someone who cares, actually THAT particularly someone lah..but then turns out that that particular someone doesnt care..so.....yea..
but thank God He sent friends into my life who were more than willing to listen to me talk n talk n talk...n just pour out the thoughts, fears and reservations i have..
today wen ps was preaching, it was really a reminder to me..
personally, cuz i can't speak for anyone else, i'm really thankful that He loves me enough to restore to me whatever that was taken away from me, whatever i threw away myself thru hurts, betrayals, and even my own sin..
it's really encouraging to know that as imperfect as i am, as broken as i am, Someone believes in me, loves me, upholds me, has faith in me..
what really struck me was when ps kevin spoke bout God's grace weaving through every area of our lives, healing, restoring, to enable us to bring that experience into the future where we can encourage other people, to help other ppl get thru the experience that we've gone thru, to let them kno that there is a God who can help them thru watever they're facing at the moment..
siewmin once told me, 'we can go through whatever situation, knowing that there are others who have gone through it, and knowing that there are others who will go through it..we can take those who have gone thru it as examples, just like how we'll be examples who come after us..'
we're agents of restoration.. =) don't be ashamed of our past, cuz there's always a reason why we went thru wat we did, so we can help others find hope in God.. =)

2 Corinthians 12: 9a - But He said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

why today was a fairytale...

2010-09-01T20:23:00.000+08:00

well, yes today was a fairytale..not in the sense that fairytales come in, with the prince charming on white horse, riding off into the sunset in a permanent sparkling made of crystal but was originally a pumpkin..

it was a pretty simple day..yes..but i was truly happy today..for very very simple reasons actually.. =)
1. well..Dr L's lecture wasn't TOO boring..was pretty enlightening really...but i'd NEVER say that out loud..LOL..was kinda worth waking up at 8.30 to go..

2. got a cuppa awesome coffee from the vending machine..RM0.60 but tastes like....coffee from heaven??i have pretty simple tastes...

3. met up with nic n gang after 5 days apart!!that's waaaayyyy too many days apart in a term..hahaha..miss them loads..but we spent time talking n yakking and yakking..like girls do =D

4. oh oh..i woke up to rachel screaming "serene tan!!wake up!!" i miss her sooo much..she went back ipoh for 5 days..

5. E opened the door for me n nic n 'saved' us from the car(which probably wouldn't knock us down anyway)..yea..small things..but those are the things that make me happy..esp wen i dun expect it! =) yes..i think all guys should open doors for girls..it makes us feel like princesses!!or loved!!or cared for.. =)

6. Y's compliment!!coming from him, it's really rare..n much appreciated! it really made my day =D

7. panmee with nic n rach..two of my most fave ppl in med school!!laughed n just had fun..n i could really eat messily too..not that i ever not eat messily..LOL..but i kno they love me anyways!! =D

yes today was a good day...i hope i made ur day after u read this too! =)

words of wisdom from Ps. Ed Silvoso

2010-08-28T23:19:00.000+08:00

1. God is sending us to OPEN THEIR EYES..once eyes are open, they naturally gravitate towards the light..
2. bless people, fellowship, minister to felt needs and proclaim the good news.. =)

3 beautiful things (26th August 2010)

2010-08-27T01:03:00.000+08:00

1. i'm past the point of caring and thinking too much..i'm just gonna be me from now on!! =D
2. went to FGA to listen to rev Mike Connor talking about law and grace...super awesome..insightful, very substantial.. =)
3. finally had the green tea that i was craving!
4. revisited yr 1 upper limb with dr roohi..discovered that she's mellowed out sooo much..she's funny now.. =)
5. spent time with CG members..it's been quite awhile..
6. FINALLY handed in the CBP report and hypothetical...took us long enough! =D

3 beautiful things (25th August 2010)

2010-08-25T23:04:00.000+08:00

1. using sam's fujitsu lappie..it's really pretty..n nice too.. =)
2. talking to mum bout my assignment, had a mental block..she helped me! =)
3. rachel tan telling me that i'm beautiful =) it certainly made my day!
4. burger! after almost 2 sems..
5. laughing with rachel over some ridiculous stuff..
6. lunch with nicole..our 'date'.. =) seems such a long time since we ate together n talked..
7. treating myself to a box of crysanthemum white tea..so nice =)

saying "i love you"..

2010-08-24T23:32:00.001+08:00

today i made a promise to myself that whoever that came online, i'll tel them that i love them (those that won't think i'm crazy of course..)
i wanted to make people a teeny weeny bit happier..
i remembered wen i was walking along the corridor, and was just saying hi to a junior, and i gave him a suggestion bout where to study..and in addition to thanking me, he blurted out "i love you!"..
i knew that he didn't love me, not THAT way anyway..but he certainly made my day =)
i wanted to give ppl that feeling that he gave me..a reminder that someone cares, someone loves..
i think ev1 needs a reminder once in a while..even though we think we don't..
now i kno the importance of, not just speaking words that we don't mean, but the importance of those 3 very special words that serve as a reminder to the people around us..
i wish it wasn't such a taboo thing to say..

‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ Jessica – age 8

little thoughts keep running thru my head..

2010-08-23T21:34:00.000+08:00

before i start, wanna reference the title 1st..it's from a song written by jocelyn darling =)
okay..i know, these past few days i've been really active on my blog, just writting n scribbling down what's going thru my mind now..
i've been thinking alot..
feeling alot..
brooding alot..
wish i studied alot too.. ><
first off, i'm really glad that not many ppl read my blog! =) cuz i think i'm going in the jocelyn direction..hahaha..spilling lotsa things here..
but yes, i wan to write my thoughts here even if no one cares to read..
cuz one day, mayb a few months from now, mayb when i'm old n grey, i want to come back n read this n say,"hey, i thought of this wen i was 20!!" haha..

recently, i've been thinking alot of growing up, off growing old, of dying..
no i don't have any suicidal thoughts..
and yes, i think a lot..
the thing is, i want to get my priorities right, before life comes and forces me to make choices..to mayb tilt my priorities a lil..
i want to kno what i want to get out of life so that i can CHOOSE the right choice when the time comes and i onli hav a split second to decide..
i had a conversation with a fren once..i duno if we're stil friends, (but i miss u, E) and we were talking bout life, regrets etc..
i have to admit, i've onli lived 20 years, n i have regrets, i definitely do..
i wish i didn't..but i do..tons of them..
sometimes i wish i could turn back time..to correct the wrongs that i made..
to take the road that i didn't take..

i let too many chances slip by..
too moments go by unnoticed..
to many times i didn't care enough to put aside my pride, my workload..
even when i saw a need, i didn't meet that need, for whatever reason, the reasons all seem so insignificant now..
i want to love more, hug more, heal more..but i have to admit..i'm afraid..so afraid..
afraid of being rejected..of being humiliated..of not being loved..

will you love me?can i have a hug?

3 beautiful things (23 August 2010)

2010-08-23T16:33:00.000+08:00

1. midsem test is OVER!!!!
2. nicole's hugs..loads n loads n loads of them.. =)
3. first time using a glucometer..n i used it on kieron!i'm on the path to being a dr..watch me!! =D
4. going home to sleep..and mayb swim..i'm exhausted...totally.. ><

3 beautiful things (20 August 2010)

2010-08-20T23:04:00.000+08:00

1. the spectacular view of monash's skybridge from under the trees..
2. dinner 'date' with rachel..
3. people who can make my day just by talking to me in school n sending me texts =D
4. giggling n being girly girl with kahwai..who's a guy but indulges me..LOL
5. power nap! =)
6. safety to cross the road..
7. safety for my friends, 3 almost-accidents in 3 days, me included..
8. always having MORE than 3 things to thank God for in a day =)

at that very moment..

2010-08-18T15:21:00.000+08:00

last night, was doing stuffs till almost 2 am in the morning..
knowing myself, n my hormones, i tend to get emotional way in the night..i get cranky..and i think too much, and cry waaaayyyy too much...LOL
well, anyway, last night was thinking bout the day that had passed, was really needing a hug and some encouragement..just for someone who is willing to be there for me, to hold me tight n remind me that i'm loved n that evth's gonna b okay...at 2am, there're not many choices of ppl whom i can call..in fact, with exams n all, ev1 needs their beauty sleep..LOL..
was having this internal conversation with God, telling Him how i was feeling, and just basically pouring out my heart to Him while i was going bout my stuffs...was listening to songs from my phone..just wen i was telling Him that i really want someone special now, someone who loves me as me, someone who would b there for me, a song started playing..the song was By Your Side (by Tenth Avenue North)..below are the lyrics

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away

Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

And I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

Cause I, I love you
I want you to know
That I, I love you
I'll never let you go

have to admit, this is the most romantic song that i've ever heard..i'm assured that even though i dun have that special someone right now, there's that special Someone who's always there for me.. =)

3 beautiful things (17 August 2010)

2010-08-17T20:22:00.001+08:00

1. the courage of apology, and the assurance that evth's gonna be okay... =)
2. the obscurity of crashing a yr1 lecture..
3. the comfort of catching 30 mintues nap in the histopath lab wrapped in carol's sleeping bag..
4. the awesomeness of RAINY days!! =D
5. safety...almost got hit by a car...
6. concern from friends!which really made me smile.. =D

3 beautiful things (16 August 2010)

2010-08-16T21:48:00.000+08:00

1. realising the true purpose of writing blogs - for myself..
2. realising how far i've come since the 1st blog post =)
3. talking about hypothetical part 2 with kahwai n dion...thanks guys..
4. spending time talking with nicole... <3 her TONS..
5. saw an eagle soaring and circling med school....BEAUTIFUL!

a rollercoaster of emotions..

2010-08-15T22:22:00.001+08:00

well..it's been a while since i last blogged...a LONG while to be honest..
nothing has changed much, and yet evth has changed...i guess change is the only constant in life huh..
it's been a while since i last penned my thoughts down..
these days i haven't really wanted to anyway..
too much is swirling around in my head, and i'm not sure if i even want people to know what's been going thru my cerebrum..
life has been going pretty much as well and as awesome as i can hope for..
that part i don't have much to complain about..
CBP visits are over, all that's left to do is to tie up some loose ends..aLOT of loose ends actually, but i'm not complaining..my group mates are awesome...so..yea..it's more of a joy working together with them..
something's been going on these days..okay..maybe not just THESE days..it's been going on for quite a while..
for those of you who have been woken up in the middle of the night by my sms-es, or heard me go,"(your name) ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..........", u'd kno wat i'm talking bout, that would pretty much make up the entire population of ppl who actually read my blog..LOL
i have to admit, it's been almost 4 years since the last time i was thrown on this rollercoaster..and i gotta say, if i had a choice, i would NOT want to be on this rollercoaster..
one minute i'm on cloud nine, the next, i'm frustrated and tearing my hair out..

i don't often use this word, but i HATE it..
yea well, it's true that sometimes, the world just to glow in vibrant colours, and the next moment, it's swathed in different shades of gray..
i need to get a grip on my emotions..i can't let this affect me like i'm some high school kid who's hormones are still raging..well, i'm not THAT old, but i certainly can't afford letting this petty issue divert my attention from what's important..
so God help me..n i'm not saying it as a slang..i MEAN it from the bottom of my heart.. (ifi britney spears has a say, it'd be from the bottom of my broken heart)..but my heart isn't broken, and i have no intention of ever letting it get broken.. =D
so..get a grip serene..GET a grip..

just something i've been thinking bout...

2010-07-24T08:50:00.001+08:00

"You Could Be The One" by Bethany Dillon

Could I talk to you sometime this afternoon?
About some things I know I'm reading into
Because you and me come at this differently
And I'm just trying to be honest with you

Now that I've found you in the most unexpected places
You were right in front of my face

You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one

Yeah, I get it
Go change the subject
But I can't forget how much this seems to fit
When you feel this way
Everything sounds so cliche
But I'll try to explain my side of this

Now that I've found you in the most unexpected places
You were right in front of my face

You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one

Maybe you are the kind that doesn't want to say it
I should just let you be
But maybe if I spoke up that would be enough
To give my mind some peace

You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be
You could be the one that I could hold on to forever, hold on to forever
You could be the one, You could be the one

exam's over!!

2010-06-27T00:57:00.000+08:00

okay....now that exam's are FINALLY over and done with.............

yep..it's FREEDOM!!!!

come to think of it..i have no idea why they always use butterflies to symbolize freedom...rachel, pls dun squeal..PLEASE...i IMPLORE you...stay in ur seat...

in any case...it's HOLIDAYS!!!!

so..first..i SLEPT..

ATE...(tons actually..lazy to post up too many pics..hahaha..u get the idea)

and....watch movies...

this is a totally awesome movie =D

this is funny..but have to admit, a stupid movie...

nic's manicure pedicure.. =D

watching BIG BANG THEORY!!!! =)

and loads more!!!

i LOVE life! =D

nerding..

2010-06-22T17:14:00.000+08:00

during normal days....

two weeks before the paper..

three days before the paper....

during the paper....

ah well..had my fun looking for pics..now back to work..n hopefully i won't end up like the rabbit.. ><

purification through tribulations..

2010-05-02T23:31:00.001+08:00

for those whom were beside me through the first 7 weeks of sem, you'd all have known that it was indeed a veyr difficult period of time for me..it was a time of umprecedented stress where for the first time in my life i reached a point where i said,"enough..i can't take it anymore.." it was a time where i felt stretched to the breaking point, a time when i questioned God and myself..doubting my faith in God if He'll pull me through, and doubting myself if there was more than my best that i could give..there were trials after trials, stresses after stresses, datelines after datelines..those were days i felt like i was burning out, caring less, loving less, and being more me-centered..i didn't like myself much that time..and i certainly didn't like my circumstances..those were the times i asked God, why He wasn't there for me, why He didn't make my life a bed of roses, why He didn't reward my hardwork studying by making the exam questions easier, why this why that...i knew in my heart it wasn't right, but, in the turmoil of emotions, the resounding cry was,"why God?why??!"
but i'm truly and deeply grateful that through it all, He has shown His grace and love in ways i could only think about, but never imagined i would feel..in those desperate, dire moments, i really thank God that He sent His human angels to safeguard my sanity..to encourage me and love me through prayers, hugs, shoulders and ears..my parents, who woke me evmorning with an encouraging sms, who woke up early evmorning jz to pray and intercede for me, who called me evday to make sure i could sleep, eat and poo..R, the awesome-est roomie anyone could ever ask for, who listened evtime i had something to say, forced me to eat even when i didn't want to, and urged me to pray when i felt so so hopeless..S, who prayed with me the day b4 the exam when i panicked and broke down in tears, who always bears with me (even now) whenever i snap at him and ask him to shut up, get lost, or whatever else..lol..N, who listened to my heart's cry even when it sounded like an old record stuck on replay, who made me laugh even in my darkest times, and who was generous with her hugs and back rubs..Z, who has always been with me through thick and thin, who listened and cared even when i said nasty, hurtful things...X, encouraging as always, caring as always and loving as always...H, i believe he was really a God-sent, two hours of solid sharing with him really really changed my perspective on things..my siblings, who cared in a funny, made-me-laugh kinda way, and really made me feel like the baby of the family again and not some random person stranded on some faraway island..thats is jz a really really short list of the people who were such darlings and jewels at that time..and it made me really see that beyond all that i had to go through, i could really feel loved and cared for..
along with the people He sent into my life for such a time, He also orchestrated messages that would really speak to me personally...today by chance i went to First Baptist Church Subang Jaya, and the speaker was preaching on Triumph through Tribulation..basically, two reasons why God allows us to go through tribulations are 1. to purify us and 2. for punishment...before we start thinking of God as the fire-throwing, whip-lashing big man upstairs, punishment does NOT mean cuz we did smth wrong so He's throwing hailstones from heaven..it jz means that there are some things in us that aren't that good and by going through whatever it is that we have to go through, we are faced with the chance to smoothen our rough edges a lil bit more..
i think i went through the trying period for both the reasons..and i'd like to believe that i've (or i will) come out of it a better person..for one, i daresay my capacity has been stretched, and i have learnt that time management is no longer jz a good idea, it is THE tool for survival in med school and in life..and i learnt that God is indeed a good and gracious God, a God whose grace will always be sufficient for me, a God who didn't just think that "hey, i think serene would look cool in a white labcoat wielding a stethoscope" but who placed me where i am now so i can fulfill the destiny He has for me right where i am now, to be a blessing to the people around me, and to be blessed by the people around me..and as much as the world wants to preach the message that 'no one is irreplaceable', i believe and i know that my place where i am right now can only be fulfilled by onli me..
and that, is something i can tell people who want to give up, who are on the verge of giving up..that God won't put you in a position where He has not given you the ability and personality to do it right, do it well, exceedingly and abundantly more than what you could ever hope or dream of...

WoonHann: "How do people produce pure gold?By putting the gold through fire, melting and molding it till it becomes pure....."

when nerding is the only right thing to do..

2010-04-09T20:32:00.000+08:00

well it's been a long while since i wrote on my blog..and by WRITE i mean 'not copy and paste from some lyrics website'..i'm currently on my easter break aka mid-sem break..and so far, besides um, waking up at 10 in the morning and sleeping late, it's been pretty much like any old school day...minus the lectures of course..it IS the mid-sem break..haih..
exams are on the 19th of april, and it's worth 5% of the entire school yr..and yet......there're TONS to study..omg..i can't believe they were so efficient to cram so many lectures into a mere 5 weeks of our course..not to mention we finished the entire thorax in 3 weeks and have started exploring the cave-like wonders of the skull..and of course..the drugs that make me wish there was a memory-enhancing drug..and then there is the intricacies of how the heart pump, the lungs work and how people pee..wow..this is sounding like an adventure!rite..and in the event that we fall sick studying, there's always complementary medicine to fall back on...if we get well on complementary medicine, then we're more than welcome to spread the word via Health Promotions...and if we DON'T get well, ah..there's always the clinical psychologist to diagnose us as insane..isn't med school jz wonderfully lovely?they think of every possible scenario..ahhh..
anyway...back to why i m writing this..i have no idea actualy..i mean..yes studying is good...i need the information..i have exams..and stuff..but year 2 is really wearing me out..i would really like to keep on top of all my lectures n anatomy practicals and clinical skills practicals and assignments, but seriously, i only have 24 hrs in a day..split all that between the outside-med-school responsibilities that i have AND personal time, i have to admit, personal time isn't even being considered currently..heck..i don't even have time to sit on the throne..it's all med school's fault that i'm having constipation..that..and the fact that i don't eat enuf fibres..but then..med school's so much nicer to blame.. =D
so yea..easter break's almost over and done with, and i stil have a TON to cover b4 lectures and practicals and assignments start swarming again..so yep...for now, NERDING is the only right thing to do for me....

p/s: dear exams, i'm doing it for YOUR sake..u better make it worth my while..

Love, serene

I was here - Lady antebellum

2010-04-01T15:15:00.000+08:00

You will notice me
I'll be leavin' my mark, like initials carved in an old oak tree
you wait and see
maybe I'll write like Twain wrote
maybe I'll paint like Van Gough,
cure the common cold
i don't know but I'm ready to start cuz i know in my heart

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

I will prove you wrong
if you think im all talk, your in for a shock
cuz this streams too strong, and before too long
maybe i'll compose symphonies
maybe i'll fight for world peace
cuz i know it's my destiny to leave more that a trace of myself in this
place

I wanna do something that matters
say something different
something that sets the whole world on it's ear
i wanna do somethin better, with the time i've been given
and i wanna try to touch a few hearts in this life
and leave nothin less that something that says i was here

And i know that i, i will do more than just pass through this life
i'll leave nothin less that somethin that says i was here, i was here, i
was here, i was here

Wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here
wanna do somethin that matters
somethin that says i was here, i was here

begin again - colbie caillat

2010-03-28T09:36:00.000+08:00

I can't get you out of the sunlight
I can't get you out of the rain
I can't get you back to that one time
'cause you and me are still recovering

So let's just try to cool it down
The fighting is feeling like flames (?)
And let's just try to slow it down
We crash when we race

Oh this is not the way that it should end
It's the way it should begin
It's the way it should begin, again

No - I never wanna fall apart
Never wanna break your heart
Never wanna let you break my own
Yes - I now we said a lot of things
That we probably didn't mean
But it's not to late to take them back

So before you say you gonna go
I should probably let you know
I never knew what I had
I never knew what I had

See, I look for you in the morning
It's that where my mind always goes
And I can't wait to get to the evening 'cause that's when I want you the most

when i fall in love.......

2010-03-14T16:57:00.000+08:00

when i fall in love, i promise....

to love you with all i am..

to accept you as who you are..

to keep my expectations of you to a minimum..

to not use you as a punching bag..

to listen to you with both ears open and mouth shut..

to adore your strengths and accept your weaknesses..

to tell you your flaws and cover your back..

to give my honest opinions and support your decision no matter what it is..

to be open and honest bout evth..

to be the best person i can be..

to help you be the best person you can be..

to assure you always that i love you..

when lizards die in inconvenient places........

2010-03-09T23:11:00.000+08:00

i was happily studying immunology and so happened to think about filing my notes in the correct files..i looked up, wondering wic file to use when i saw.........A LIZARD WITH ITS HEAD STICKING OUT BETWEEN THE BOTTOM OF MY FILE AND BOOKSHELF.....*shudders at the recollection of the image*.....seriously..omg..it wasn't moving..it was jz there..n obviously, being me, i freaked big time..i screamed, squealed and made a variety of sounds that were enuf to get R out of her chair and admonishing me,"Serene, what is wrong with you?" me: *squeals* lizard between file and shelf!!!!!
okay..so R, being the more curious (read: weird) of the two, went close enuf to take 2 pics of the unfortunate lizard..the pics stil giv me chills..stil deciding if i shud post them...ugh...anyway..she took the flashlight on my desk and checked for pupillary reaction of the lizard..and, finding none (do lizards hav pupillary reactions??), she declared it dead..n started describing it while i squealed to jz drown out her voice..with my pillow protecting me from the horrors of the real world, i called my trusty fren CY, who's like..the bravest, most practical girl around..anyway..i told her there was a dead lizard and she started laughing like really loudly..and agreed to come over to settle it..while waiting for her, i paced outside trying to make myself stop thinking of the gross thing in my room..eeeewwwww...it was supposed to die in R's side of the room..since it seemed to like to hang out in that portion...aih..anyway...CY came and, being her, she removed it, laughing all the way..n then she quelled my fears that there would b lizard body fluid al over my file by showing me that there's nth...ugh..i still can't bring myself to take that file down..imagine when i have to read the stuff in that file...UGH!!!..pls make me forget it soon.......aihs....lizards do die in inconvenient places... =(

when hearts break..

2010-03-07T08:04:00.000+08:00

Droplets by Colbie Callait and Jason Reeves.

I'm leaving you
I'm not sure if that's what I should do
It hurts so bad
I'm wanting you but can't go back
Trying to find, to find
That all elusive piece of mind
Stuck here somehow
Shrouded beneath my fear
And now I don't need it

Cuz I'm walkin down this road alone
and figured all I'm thinking bout is you,
is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain
and the world it seems so far away and
I'm just waiting for
The droplets, droplets

You left a mark
I wear it proudly on my chest
Above my heart
To Remind me that I feel the best
When I'm with you
To me everything is effortless
You know it's true
My eyes are painted with regret and I don't need it

Cuz I'm walkin down this road alone
and figured all I'm thinking bout is you, is you my love
And my head is in a cloud of rain
and the world it seems so far away and
I'm just waiting to fall and sink into your tears

You are like the raindrops, the raindrops falling down on me

You left a mark, you left a mark
She left a mark, he left
She left, he left
And I don't I don't
Need it. Need it

i hate it when my heart's broken..and currently..i can't see it healing anytime soon..

Chinese New Year vs V-day

2010-02-13T19:04:00.001+08:00

well..for the first time since i can remember, the eastern all-important 1st day of CNY finally meets the western all-important Valentine's day..for some, CNY takes precedence (read: for those of the older generation who have grey hair and also those in the younger generation that wan to line their pockets with angpows) while for others V-day takes precedence (read: who else?the lovebirds lah..)
it'd b the ideal if we can settle for both, go home for cny, go visit-visit, take ang pow, then at night go dating n use up all the angpows..hahaha..but, that's not that possible unless we date someone who's from our hometown or hometown somewhere close.. =D
If i choose CNY over V-day.........

my parents would be happy...n my granddad wil bug me if i have a bf..so will my cousins who're already asking me when i'm getting married..haih...since i'm the oldest single (or apparently single) granddaughter in the house..
get to spend time with my family....wic..could b a good or bad thing depending on who gets mad that day...
i won't feel so sad/pathetic that i sorta,kinda, maybe dun have someone to spend V-day with..n hopefully i'll b so bz chasing the kids around that i won't even rmb it's V-day... =)
i get angpows!!!well..diamonds r a girl's best fren..but money is a close second =D
and.......4 reasons r all i've got to why i should choose CNY over V-day...hmmmm..

okay..if i were to choose V-day over CNY..............

i get to spend time with my sorta,kinda,maybe honey...wic is really cool cuz he has to pay for evth rite??!meaning that.....mayb my angpows r stil waiting for me at home =D
it's the most (or least, depending on how u see it) romantic day of the year..n shud (well, technically) be spent with my beau if it weren't for the interference of CNY..
there'll hopefully be an intimate dinner where i dun have to over-eat in comparison to reunion dinners and the like where the elders go,"eat la..eat some more dun shy shy.." ala treating us like cows meant for fattening so we can be slaughtered sooner..
i get to do pretty much wat i want...wac movie or do smth fun..not pigging out the whole time...mayb i'll get to lose some weight or at least maintain it??? =D

well technically..it's a pretty tough choice...and as the cliche goes, when ur in love, evday's V-day rite??! and yeah..i dun even have someone to spend V-day with..well..sorta kinda mayb i do..but anyway....i'll go with CNY this time..n cross my fingers that CNY won't fall on V-day ever again!!! =D unless i'm already married then what the heck =D

Windmill - David Choi

2010-02-08T15:42:00.000+08:00

I don't want to care
But I have to stop and stare

Watch my house burn down

As the flames dance around

I don't want to breathe

All the memories that I see

From the house that used to be

That's where I used to be

Kick the dust, I'm moving on

Don't care where I'm coming from

Windmill, keep on turning

As my life goes burning away

Burning away

Windmill, keep on turning

Keep turning

Keep turning away

Left here standing still

No more bitter pills

But I can't leave this hill quite yet

Until the moonlight starts to set

The roaring of the flames

It overtakes the shame

The framework crumbles to the ground

But my ears can't hear a sound

I'll be waiting for the sun

With heavy sails spinning up above

Windmill, keep on turning

As my life goes burning away

Burning away

Windmill, keep on turning

Keep turning

Keep turning away

Just the slightest breeze

Keeps the house burning

Keeps the windmill turning

Windmill, keep on turning

As my life goes burning away

Burning away

Windmill, keep on turning

Keep turning

Windmill, keep on turning

As my life goes burning away

Burning away

Windmill, keep on turning

Keep turning

Keep turning away

http://www.youtube.com/user/davidchoimusic?blend=1&ob=4&rclk=cti#p/u/55/AoOGimmdmUs

P/S: This song reminds me that no matter what happens, jz like the windmill, our lives stil go on..

Missing CG....kinda... =)

2010-02-07T18:48:00.000+08:00

Okay..it's been almost 4 months since I last went to CG..and frankly..i MISS it!!!okay..not only CG..mostly i miss the ppl..haih...

SiewMin's Bday celebration..well..MOST of us were there.. =)

In the months after emerge, i've been lucky enough to meet SiewMin and ChinWay in Penang at the end of dec..although it was only for a few hours..but ah well, beggars can't be choosers, eh? So anyway, i miss eating with them..n talking..n laughing.. =) i dun mean jz SiewMin and ChinWay..i mean the whole gang..
i was supposed to go ipoh with them....but but but..thanks to some BRILLIANT ppl who decided to wreak havoc in malaysia, my parents decided against letting me go..haih...wasted...anyway..the e7-ers who went were nice enough to rmb me.. =) by taggin me as a chocalate milkshake..well..they tried anyway =)so anyway..yea..i'll b back in KL soon enough..but not soon enough to catch Sarah b4 she flies off.. =( i'll definitely MIISS her!!! =( aaah...my rojak partner..and also bubble tea partner-in-crime...haihz...she's also the super efficient, warm and fun-loving intern..haihz...i'll miss her..haih..u beta mis me too sarah poh..or else......or else............or else.......i'll think of smth =DIn any case...I stil miss CG.. =)

Avalanche - by Marie Digby

2010-02-06T07:51:00.001+08:00

Since when do you come around?
And the temperature's changed, nothing's the same
Left me, in yesterday
You don't see me that way, touched me that way, no more
When you get so cold, I'm not sure just how much longer I can hold

You got me standin' at the bottom of this mountain that we've made
And the ground is shakin' from all of our mistakes
But there's no one, but then the ice is in our way
It's a matter of time, We can rewind

If only you knew, Why my heart goes through for you
I'm tryna break through, Don't you think it's worth the chance?
Let's leave the past, Is that too much to ask?
And where do we stand?
Can we pull through this avalanche?
Can we pull through this avalanche?

We see what's up ahead, Why do we stay? Watchin' us fadin'
Trapped in, by regret
There's no way out, and there's no way in
And it's so cold, I'm not sure just how much longer I can hold

You got me standin' at the bottom of this mountain that we've made
And the ground is shakin', from all of our mistakes
But there's no one, but then the ice is in our way
It's a matter of time, We can rewind

If only you knew, Why my heart goes through for you
I'm tryna break through, Don't you think it's worth the chance?
Let's leave the past, Is that too much to ask?
And where do we stand?
Can we pull through this avalanche?
Can we pull through this avalanche?

The bond is breaking, and it's taking over, my spirit
Something's shifted, have we drifted too far, apart now?

If only you knew, Why my heart goes through for you
I'm tryna break through, Don't you think it's worth the chance?
Let's leave the past, Is that too much to ask?
And where do we stand?
Can we pull through this avalanche?
Can we pull through this avalanche?

Avalanche

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOHRRlSQXkY&feature=channel

ah por's big head..

2010-01-05T08:05:00.000+08:00

last night there was a gathering with the currently-in-perlis high skul gang: yiyou, ziling, xinyi, yeng, myself, por and xinyi's roommate from UUM, chia ling..
had a pretty good time at kuala perlis ikan bakar, the food was not bad, though it cost a hole in my pocket and also some extra pounds which i'm desperately trying to shed..
anyway..the conversation, as usual (?) revolved around ah por's big head..for so long, it has been a topic of intense fascination to us (the 24, i mean)..we ooh-ed and aah-ed at his wondrously big head, and compared his head with yiyou's (who happened to be sitting beside him, and has a significantly smaller head)..we wondered at the amount of brain matter contained in that marvellously big head, though we came to the conclusion that big heads does not equal big intelligence..(case in point, JIAN HUNG..he has arguably the smallest head among all of us, but he's one of the brightest, as with WEI CHERN..)
anyway..i have to give credit to ah por's big head..because it never fails to give the gang a topic of common interest whenever we have gatherings..hence, there's seldom a quite moment..woe to us on the day our heads grow to his size and his head no longer remains a topic of fascination....i hope that day never comes..

what a way to start a new year!

2010-01-04T13:15:00.000+08:00

well..it's the, um, 4th day of the new year..n the most that i can say is that i didnt start off the new year with a bang..
things are kinda......bland..around here..wasn't expecting some countdown or club-til-i'm-dead phenomena, but it's jz...wish i did something more productive in ushering in the new year..
that being said, i do hope *fingers crossed* that this isn't the way the year wil continue! i have tons to do, or rather, i want to do tons..haha..so un-fruitfulness must be crossed off the list!!
n i jz realised that when i m the free-est, aka during my holidays, it's when i produce the least blogs..cuz i simply hav nothing to write about..
i, for one, am simply not capable of waxing lyricals about mundane days wher i jz went about producing my "un-fruitfulness"..though it might b interesting to read (which i highly doubt anyway), it certainly is mindblowingly boring to write..

Movies i look forward to this year..

2010-01-02T12:00:00.000+08:00

Tooth Fairy (starring Dwayne Johnson)
Dear John (starring the hunky Channing Tatum!!!)
Shutter Island (starring Leonardo DiCaprio)
Alice in Wonderland (starring Johnny Depp..therefore, it's a must-watch!!)
Iron Man 2 (need i say more?)
Robin Hood (starring Russell Crowe)
Rapunzel (starring Mandy Moore)
and maybe.....Salt (starring Angelina Jolie)

my boy joel..

2009-12-20T19:23:00.000+08:00

he's cute, adorable, and handsome with a capital H..
his smile and laughter is infectious and he lights up my day..
he loves hugs and kisses and holding hands too..
he's sensitive and cries alot..
n he fights for the tv with me..n tries to run my life too..
he locks me in the room n forces me to bathe even when i dun wan to..
n he tugs at my hearts strings at will.. =)
in short, he has my heart at his fingertips..
and he's 2 years old..he's none other than......JOEL SHAWN TAN..
p/s: sorry for the tilted pic..haha

crush..

2009-11-27T12:46:00.000+08:00

there was you..and then there was me..
typical teenage crush which led nowhere but to heartbreak..
i thought i had grown out of crushes..
and then you came along and i failed the test..
funny how things take place..first i brushed you off..and then i realised..darn..he's cute..and then i forgot about you..until that fateful day that the emotions were awakened once again..
everytime i see you, my heart beats that wee bit faster..and i turn away..having the urge to do something to catch your ever so elusive attention..but..so afraid that you'll see through me..
so i run..
and you never see me..ever..
it doesn't matter..at least i keep hoping it doesn't..but...does it?
i know i'm just another girl to you..
mayb you already have The One..i don't know..
all i know is that i'm not The One..so can you please leave my mind alone..

3 (many actually) beautiful things (17 November 2009)

2009-11-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

FINALLY finished year 1 MBBS!!
quite a wonderful med dinner aka prom night..
got into the finals of emerge spelling bee..
spending quality time with my nieces..teaching them art n crafts.. =)
the way jojo cried last night when i was about to go out.. =)
henna FINALLY getting attached officially =) ..yep..i'm ECSTATIC bout it actually..

with hope..

2009-11-14T09:40:00.000+08:00

the song "With Hope" was written by Steven Curtis Chapman for his 5 year old daughter who died in an accident..it's a beautiful song which paints a picture of hope in the midst of sadness, despair and grief..it portrays his struggles as he tries to come to terms with his daughter's death and his constant asking of what God's greater plan is..and his trust in the Lord that no matter what God puts him thru, ultimately God always has his best interests at heart..

often, when i'm faced with struggles, when i'm wondering what on earth is happening and questioning everything that i'm faced with, when my wants and needs are struggling with what i know God wants me to do, when i cry, struggle and bargain with God, that's when i have to trust in Him the most..not because i believe in fate, or because i'm scared that if i don't want to follow what He wants, He'll cause lightning to strike me..it's because when it comes to loving someone, i want to give my all..it's always hard because it requires me to make choices between things and people i love and the One i want to love above all else..when it comes down to that, it's not a matter of who i love more..or what i want or need..it's a question of obedience..and one thing i've learnt is that obedience requires sacrifice..the sacrifice maybe big or small..maybe smth that i can jz shrug and put out of my mind..or it could be smth that i cry about over and over again for many months..and when that happens..when i make a decision out of obedience, a decision that i know will make me cry over and over again for many months, that's when i'll do it with hope..not IN THE hope of something better..but WITH hope..knowing and believing that the sacrifice will not be in vain..

although i can't say that i know for certain what is in store for me, and i certainly can't foresee the future, and i know that there will be times i question the Father's wisdom, and fight against what i know to be what He wants for me, i will cry with hope, because i know He will bring to past everything that He has promised to me..and that ultimately, all things work together for good for those who love Him..and i want to be the one standing there and telling Him that i love Him even if i have to give pieces of my heart away..i want to be the one..

Studying...

2009-10-24T07:46:00.000+08:00

i'm officially calling myself KINDA a nerd..
yep..i've finally admitted it after many many years of trying to fight off that label..
doesnt matter that i onli sorta believe it, or that anyone who meets me for the 1st time can hardly believe it..
it's true..i'm a nerd..especially wen exams are just around the corner..
let's just say i'm a DRIVEN BY NECESSITY nerd.. =D
that sounds so much better.. =)

p/s: i think i'm going crazy..sheesh.. =.=

Journey..

2009-10-13T12:54:00.000+08:00

Life's a journey..this much i know..i'm not emo-ing or anything..just felt like blogging after a super long time of not blogging.. =)
i realised that humans are beings that are never satisfied..never gratified..that's why there's always a restlessness, a churning, a longing in us that pesters us even during times we're supposed to feel the happiest..
we always think ahead, worry ahead, and regret what has been..this year has taught me there's a different, much better way to live than to pass the moments by..
med school yr 1 is almost done..and it's been a life-enriching year..in short, it has been the best year of my life..looking back on the person who first walked into monash, i can confidently say that there's things that i'm glad i've left behind..and mindsets that i'm glad i've adopted..
loving life, and appreciating the moments is one important lesson i've learnt..granted, med school is not all flowers and hearts and stars..there were times i've been rushing for datelines and my assignment file got corrupted..times i pored over anatomy and nothing seems to go in..times i groaned and grumbled about having to wake up early for an utterly useless and boring lecture..times i wished i didn't have to study anatomy, physiology, pharmacology, HEP, psychology or histology..there were times i wished i'd not taken medicine, times i cried cuz i was homesick or was super stressed out..
i learnt that emotions can only take us so far..after that willpower has to kick in..there're things we need to do and either we can do it happily or we can groan, grumble and make ourselves and ev1 around us utterly miserable..
i learnt to deal with stress in a different way now..instead of crying, which, admittedly is kinda useless, i learnt to grab the bull by the horns and just deal with the problem..
i learnt that attitude and character not only determine how far i go in life..more importantly, they determine the journey..when i reach my destination, i want to look back and know and know that i spent every minute to the fullest, that i left an impact on people, that my life is richer because i chose to embark on this journey..on the journey of my life..

alot of beautiful things.. (for the past week)

2009-10-06T14:56:00.000+08:00

watching malaysian open finals and seeing FERNANDO VERDASO!!!!
spending time with bro + family..
eating homecooked food..
frens so generously offering to belanja me when i forgot to bring my purse to skul..
talking to some cf-ers whom i haven't seen in ages...
sem almost ending..
talking nonsense and just bonding with my groupmates over bra size..haha..
free briyani!!! =)

3 beautiful things (2 October 2009)

2009-10-02T17:31:00.000+08:00

a tiring week..somehow..haih...
1st time worship lead last night!!
mitch..for holding my hand and assuring me that i'm gonna do great tml leading songs at the children's home..(cuz he pandai-pandai put me as music director without my consent)..and he promised me starbucks!!yay!!!

3 beautiful things (25 September 2009)

2009-09-25T18:56:00.000+08:00

spending time with my best friend..
dome's fish and chips!!
1st time go GSC signature premiere seats..woot! =)

3 beautiful things (23 September 2009)

2009-09-23T09:55:00.000+08:00

trying to find the bright side of my super bad hairdo..
the consolation of friends n ppl who love me bout my super bad 'do..
joel n jojo stil kissing me after admitting that i look horrible..

3 beautiful things (22 September 2009)

2009-09-22T19:39:00.000+08:00

having the privilege to attend a leaders' meeting with ps tan ye peng..
taking care of keira, max and eitan..
watching roy take care of kids..he's really different with them.. =)

3 beautiful things (21 Sept 2009)

2009-09-21T14:31:00.000+08:00

taking care of joel..alone..=)
having an experience of being a housewife..
kisses from my beloved-s!! =)

3 beautiful things (17 September 2009)

2009-09-17T19:00:00.000+08:00

Rachel's birthday celebration..
talking to an old lady and really being able to see that i brought some joy into her life for that brief time..
dawei being nice..as always.. =)

3 beautiful things (16 September 2009)

2009-09-17T18:55:00.000+08:00

Peter's hug..which came at a time when i really needed a hug..n i didn't even ask him.. =)
Woon Hann..ta-pau-ed dinner for me and sent it to my hostel cuz i was rushing assignment n had no time to go get dinner...=)
Ken..walked awhile in the Monash garden with me (he forced me to go get a breather cuz i was stressed over my assignment)..and allowed me to hit him to get the edge off..and also..sat with me and helped me with my assignment.. =)

3 beautiful things (13 September 2009)

2009-09-14T15:35:00.000+08:00

celebrated xinyi's bday in italiennies.. =)
a rainy day!!
talking to mommy and daddy dearest..n listening to jojo n joanne in the background.. =)

3 beautiful things (12 September 2009)

2009-09-13T07:47:00.000+08:00

celebrating pris and rachel's bday in cg..
watching 'will you marry me' on dvd..
taking care of victoria and keira..they're lovely..

3 beautiful things.. (11 September 2009)

2009-09-11T11:30:00.000+08:00

laughing at rachel cuz she thinks she has H1N1..
giving xinyi her bday present..
finally finding books for my EPI assignment..
eating lunch and catching up with jun beng.. =)

3 beautiful things (8 September 2009) -- actually alot more than 3..

2009-09-08T16:59:00.000+08:00

having no internet and therefore, having a valid excuse to not do research!!hahaha..
taking care of my boy..joel..he's the best..and cutest..and handsomest too!! =D
cooking porridge..and enjoying it too..
seeing people i love most in the world love each other..
having a dream/fantasy come true..
seeing into the future..and someday..hoping to live in it..motivation to fight for what my heart desires..
bro sending me to skul =)
finally bought a packet of nescafe to put in my locker..well provided for for the next month.yay!
laughing and joking with friends..
reminded that i mean a lot to someone who means alot to me..
having rachel to listen to me when i'm complaining that someone else is getting on my nerves BIG TIME...thanks rach.. =D

3 beautiful things (3 september 2009)

2009-09-03T09:43:00.000+08:00

exam over!!!
scaring macho karl with a cadaver..lol
sleeping in n missing class...
BAK KUT TEH!!!!

3 beautiful things (30 August 2009)

2009-08-30T20:01:00.000+08:00

finished studying neurology!!
discovered i didnt lose my shorts..hhahaa
um...nice weather!!

3 beautiful things (29 August 2009)

2009-08-29T19:08:00.000+08:00

finish studying anatomy..
talking on the phone with someone who's very dear to me..
talking to rachel bout our dream homes...n realising that i dun have one....

3 beautiful things (29 August 2009)

2009-08-28T20:32:00.000+08:00

a restful day in the midst of exams..
an amazing production by CHC..
talking out how i feel about smth to someone... =)

3 beautiful things (27 August 2009)

2009-08-27T05:56:00.000+08:00

caring friends who can detect my moods and care enough to ask and love me enough to hug..
mom's morning nasi goreng =D
parents sending me to skul...i feel soo soo blessed!!

3 beautiful things (26 August 2009)

2009-08-27T05:54:00.000+08:00

eating food cooked by mummy dearest..
chatting with dad in the car...like really chat =)
playing with jojo, joanne and joel....

3 beautiful things (25 August 2009)

2009-08-25T19:08:00.000+08:00

being surrounded by the people i love the most (in uni) when i'm really stressed out..
jenna's hug and massage.. =)
listening to jenna gush about joseph and the birthday surprise =)
(stil got mah) jenna and daniel conteng-ing my anatomy book with sweet, encouraging msgs.. =)

3 beautiful things (23 August 2009)

2009-08-23T16:38:00.000+08:00

eating after fasting for 30 hours thanks to the 30 hour famine =)
seeing a chocolate, younger version of ashley tisdale..super cute!!
making ameena smile.. =) she's just adorable..=)

3 beautiful things (22 August 2009)

2009-08-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

chatting with my ex-KG leader..
sleeping for 11 hours!! =)
joining the 30 hour famine..n realizing smth special actually..hehehe...about someone..hehehe...

3 beautiful things (21 August 2009)

2009-08-22T16:23:00.000+08:00

being able to just chill in the library and read a novel alone..for an hour =)
going out with a very close fren to just talk and eat dinner..
eating ice cream and laughing and just being our silly selves..with that fren.. =D spent great time fellowshipping and teasing each other..

3 beautiful things (21 August 2009)

2009-08-22T16:21:00.000+08:00

3 beautiful things (20 August 2009)

2009-08-20T13:14:00.000+08:00

being able to talk to someone whom i haven't talked to in a LOONG time..n i just prayed for a chance to do so yesterday!!
making an appointment with another someone i haven't talked to in a looong time...for lunch..n to talk.. =)
someone being nice and buying me a cuppa cofffee in the middle of anatomy practicals... =)

3 beautiful things (16 August 2009)

2009-08-19T18:17:00.000+08:00

getting answers for some of the questions i've always wanted to ask..about the emotional part of being a doctor..
hugs from (wow i just realised it) the people who are closest to me in cf! i love them so so so much!!!n i miss them!!
myself!!in skirt and heels!!rare sight rite??!!hahaha =D

*~At the End of the Rainbow~*

wishful thinking..

down in the dumps..

gah!

your smile..

fruits..

the human in HIV

the bigger picture.. =)

struggles...and grace..

silver linings.. =)

week 1 in the wards...

changes....

beautiful things this CNY season.. =)

3 beautiful things (30/1/2010)

just smth i read =)

why?

thoughts..

my perlis =)

owl city - in christ alone

friends..

movies i wanna watch 2011 =D

looking back...

to each his own..

now that i'm a third year medical student.....

wind beneath my wings..

looking back at this year...

goodbye darling..

in rachel's words.. =)

i wish i was there..

it's funny how..

L.O.V.E. redefined..

why today was a fairytale (12 sept 2010)

restoration..inspired by ps. kevin loo..

why today was a fairytale...

words of wisdom from Ps. Ed Silvoso

3 beautiful things (26th August 2010)

3 beautiful things (25th August 2010)

saying "i love you"..

little thoughts keep running thru my head..

3 beautiful things (23 August 2010)

3 beautiful things (20 August 2010)

at that very moment..

3 beautiful things (17 August 2010)

3 beautiful things (16 August 2010)

a rollercoaster of emotions..

just something i've been thinking bout...

exam's over!!

nerding..

purification through tribulations..

when nerding is the only right thing to do..

I was here - Lady antebellum

begin again - colbie caillat

when i fall in love.......

when lizards die in inconvenient places........

when hearts break..

Chinese New Year vs V-day

Windmill - David Choi

Missing CG....kinda... =)

Avalanche - by Marie Digby

ah por's big head..

what a way to start a new year!

Movies i look forward to this year..

my boy joel..

crush..

3 (many actually) beautiful things (17 November 2009)

with hope..

Studying...

Journey..

alot of beautiful things.. (for the past week)

3 beautiful things (2 October 2009)

3 beautiful things (25 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (23 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (22 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (21 Sept 2009)

3 beautiful things (17 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (16 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (13 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (12 September 2009)

3 beautiful things.. (11 September 2009)

3 beautiful things (8 September 2009) -- actually alot more than 3..

~At the End of the Rainbow~